I am 24 years old and dating a guy my age. The problem I have with him is that he tells lies a lot and makes me angry always. Though I have tried to call off the affair, both our families would prevail upon me and bring us back. The guy is not even ready for marriage now. What do I do?
R.R
Lagos.
You are too young to be in a relationship just because of ‘what our families will say’. If you are fed up, then call it off. This is an affair and don’t be entangled in what you will regret later. Let them know how you feel and your need to move on with your life since the guy is not ready for the altar now.
My step brother snatched my girlfriend
I am in my 20s. I live and work in Abuja and my stepbrother would call from Lagos to inform me about the escapades of my girlfriend, who also lives in Lagos. But I came to Lagos and I discovered that they were dating! I came to Lagos and met him and my girlfriend having their bath together. This is unbearable and I think it is a taboo. What do I do?
L.A,
Abuja
I don’t think this is a taboo because you were not married to the girl. For a woman to have slept with two brothers, she is not only very greedy but undisciplined. I see deceit in your step-brother because he must have been telling you all those tales in Abuja, so that you could jilt the girl. The way out for you is to purge your heart of bitterness. Though not easy, don’t tell your parents. Moreover, create an atmosphere to have a heart-to-heart talk with your step-brother. To create enmity in a family because of such a girl is senseless. An affair like theirs can never last.
I can’t have sex with a woman
I am a 43-year-old legal practitioner and I am afraid of marriage. This is because I started masturbating since I was 17 years old. Now, I cannot have sex with any woman coupled with the fact that I am diabetic. Please I need a wife and children, what do I do?
P.M.
Ibadan
Habits, when formed over the years, take both psychological and spiritual help to dump them. Have you taken time to see a psychiatrist/psychologist? There is an erroneous belief in our society that only mentally challenged people consult a psychiatrist but traumatised minds need help too. Please see one.
I have slept with many men
Am a lady of 28, I am from a broken home but scared of the way I live. I have lived a silly life because whenever men asked me out, I ended up in their beds. I have slept with many men that came my way. Though I am currently dating a 27-year-old guy, I don’t know if I ever will get my right man, who will take me to the altar. I am scared to tell him my past life but it keeps hunting me.
A.A,
Lagos.
You cannot tell a partner that you have slept with many men, else he will run away. What you need now is a new lifestyle. Stop sleeping with any man until you get married. Having sex with a man is not what makes him marry you. Rather, it is your character, your way of life, your ability to reason and proffer solutions to crisis that will qualify you for marriage. Stop sex and turn a new leaf with your new partner. He could decide to marry you if he sees that you are a good girl.
His dressing is awful
I am 26 and engaged to a 33-year-old man. He has all the qualities I want in a man but my problem with him is his dress sense, which has been very poor. I have not had the confidence to introduce him to my friends. I have talked to him several times about this but he does not see any wrong with how he dresses.
O.G,
Lagos
There are many ways to encourage him to dress well; you have not just discovered any. In fact, this should not pose a problem because you are the solution. How? Start buying nice and suitable clothes as gifts for him. You must declare them as gifts and never say,’ I bought them for you because you don’t dress well’. By the time you start an investment (according to your purse) on his wardrobe, his dress sense will improve.
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